help me rhonda

so last night was rhonda. i was really excited to go because i havent been and heard it was crazy. so we went and i thought the place was cool, it was at guatelinda. it was kinda grimey but in a good grimey way i guess? there was 2 bars, one was real the other one was a table, and the dj booth was shaped like a helicopter. so i find $20 the other day while cleaning that DISASTORIOUS office of ours. excited, i go to the bar cause i finally have cash...and money for that matter. i get a cranberry vodka christian gets a jack on the rocks. i take the first sip and it tastes like there was a quart of lime juice squeezed in it. it was sooooooo sick. i make everyone try it and they agreed (except liz cause she u couldnt taste anything by that point). kyle went as far as to smell it and almost gagged. that was a whole nother world i hadnt experinced so i smelled it.......yup. sewer.


SO GROSS!!!!!!!!


i go back and heres how it went

chanelle: this is really gross can i exchange it please?
bartender: what did u order?
chanelle: cranberry vodka
bartender: ......confused......
chanelle: taste it
bartender: ..........scared......... ( takes it through the straw and into his palm and tastes it) it tastes fine!

let me pause this story like they did on saved by the bell where zach would start talking to the camera and everyone would freeze. folks, can you really taste what a drink tastes like when a drop is in the palm of ur hand? ESPECIALLY after youve been bartending all night? drinks spilled on it...sweat from ur own palm etc. and may i add in that my drink was FULL. i wasnt trying to be cheap or anything i just PAID for it so i should enjoy it. i fell like any other bar would have done it. ok moving on


bartender: its a cranberrry vodka tonic (at this point it was loud so i believe thats what he said. but i know i heard tonic somewhere in there)
chanelle: well i asked for a vodka cran
bartender: did you order it from me?
chanelle: yes.
bartender: its the same cranberry juice as in here......(pointing to a shady ass bottle of like puckers or something)
chanelle: well can i just get a new one please?


my goodness people. did i REALLY have to fight him for that one? like im just asking for an EXCHANGE not a free drink? what does he think i made it in the bathroom and am pulling some scam on him? GEEZ.

moving on once again. he gives me a new drink......... well look at that.....tastes exactly the same. cool. people, i promise im not high maintenance. i just want a simple cran vodka. i dont even care what vodka! its really not this hard!!!! so i go to the REAL bar cause i see REAL cranberry juice in a bottle. and i ask the girl the same question and i cant exchange it so i just give up and buy another one. (my drink was still full btw) FINALLY IT TASTES GOOD. seriously.......so irritated at the whole experience.

so im walking back to the dj booth with liz and her cute friend layke who i met last night. and i take a sip. great. theres like NO VODKA in it. seriously i hate when i ask for simple things and it doesnt happen so i feel high maintenance. so i remember that theres vodka behind the dj booth, i ask liz to add some. she tips the bottle over to start pouring it in my drink. i notice the caps on. liz was watching that shit as if it was pouring out like a waterfall. like carefully looking so it wont spill. me and layke were like liz! its not open! that was fun.

time passes. we run into costa. our new friend from coachella.
liz: "i thought i would never see you again!"
costa: "i live down the street"


outfits of the night:
a mc hammer outfit and a boy LITERALLY in boxer briefs, a top and boots.


breakthrough of the night:
christian dances like ray charles.


highlight of the night:
russ giving us shout outs.


so all in all rhonda was fun. ..........


kthanksbye.